In the tragic aftermath of 8 year old Leiby Keltzy’s abduction last week in Brooklyn, NY, parents are understandably angry and anxious about their own child’s safety – especially since Leiby was taken by his kidnapper within his own community, just blocks from where he was walking to meet his mother.
There is no magic age when it comes to letting a child walk home on their own. A lot depends on the child’s maturity, life experience, awareness and quick-thinking skills. And while I don’t advocate a paranoid, over-protective approach, I think it’s important that parents slow down and really assess what their child is capable of.
Now more than ever, it’s a timely reminder that parents talk to their children about very specific Do's and Don'ts when they’re out in public. Whether you’re taking them to the park, the beach or the supermarket, give them some clear-cut strategies, a simple action plan in case they get lost, or are approached by a friendly adult especially if you’re not by their side. In Leiby’s case, he was caught off-guard because the perpetrator seemed nice and was part of their local community – proof that the age-old “stranger-danger” lesson is not serving our kids in the best way possible.
Children can be fooled by a kind stranger who wants to trick or lure them, because a child’s concept of stranger-danger is one of fear, that it would be a scary looking person.Review the safety tips below with your children; even very young children can grasp basic safety rules and concepts. Use non-fearful “What If scenarios” to make sure they are clear, and when they get the rule right, give them a big, happy Yipee! - positive reinforcement goes a long way in helping kids retain. Lastly, please remember: once is not enough… please have these conversations more than just once. Kids really do need reminders, even though they may roll their eyes and spit out an “I knowwwww, Mom.” There is nothing more important than the safety of our children.
10 Safety Tips for Parents & Kids
Remind kids never to get near or into a car with anyone they don't know, no matter how friendly the person seems.
No entering anyone’s house, unless you’ve gotten previous permission from mom or dad ahead of time.
If lost or in an emergency situation, go into a public venue, a store, etc. and seek out a mom with kids or the cash-register person to ask for help.
Don’t take shortcuts in alleys, wooded areas, etc.
Use the buddy system.
Walking home from school: plan the route ahead of time, walk it with your child and point out “safe-stops” along the way in case of an emergency.
Remind your child that safe adults shouldn’t be asking kids for assistance when you’re alone or just with another kid – it’s okay to say NO to anyone who may be asking for help with a lost pet, needing directions, etc.
Don’t put your child’s name on the outside of their belongings (jackets, backpacks, lunchbox, etc.)
Use some common-sense “What-If” scenarios to be sure your child knows what to do in an emergency. By playing the “what if” game in a non-fearful manner, you’ll help instill these safety strategies and will also be able to gauge when it may be okay to give them a little more independence and freedom as they grow.
Even in seemingly quiet “safe” neighborhoods, parents need to go over the safety rules – don’t get lulled into a false sense of security.
